My Bucket list

A while ago I decided to have a bucket list. Today I took the time to finish the list to a complete 100. I have crossed off 32 items off my list. I thought it would be fun to share with you and let you make suggestions for if I wanted to add more or to share what is on your list.

• 1.     Backpack in Europe
• 2.     Visit all 50 states
• 3.     Go into the Atlantic and the pacific
• 4.     Go skydiving
• 5.     Go Bungee Jumping
• 6.     Get  a tattoo
• 7.     Visit all 7 continents
• 8.     Learn how to hotwire a car
• 9.     Learn how to pick a lock
• 10. Fall in Love
• 11. Get married and have a family
• 12. Get my CPA license
• 13. Kiss under the Mistletoe
• 14. Learn how to drive a stick shift
• 15. ROAD TRIP!!
• 16. Learn to shoot a gun
• 17. Give blood
• 18. Go to four corners
• 19. Go to a drive in movie theater
• 20. Swim with the dolphins
• 21. Run a 5k
• 22. Run a 10k
• 23. Run a half marathon
• 24. Be an extra in a doctor who episode
• 25. Visit the wizarding world of harry potter
• 26. Go on a hot air balloon ride
• 27. Ski a real black diamond
• 28. Go to the Eiffel tower
• 29. Go to comic con
• 30. Passionately kiss in the rain
• 31. Go skinny dipping
• 32. See the Sistine chapel
• 33. See Stonehenge
• 34. See the northern lights
• 35. Go on a cruise
• 36. Hike the Appalachian trail
• 37. Earn a black belt in a martial art
• 38. Take a self defense class
• 39. Become proficient in spanish
• 40. Take singing lessons
• 41.  Go to a jazz club in New Orleans
• 42. Go snorkeling
• 43. Go scuba diving
• 44. Polar bear swim
• 45. Swim in the largest swimming pool in the world
• 46. Ride the orient express
• 47. Sleep in an overnight train
• 48.  Go to the top of the Jung Frau
• 49. Go whale watching
• 50. Adopt a dog
• 51. Go white water rafting
• 52. See Niagara Falls
• 53.  See the Mona Lisa
• 54. Stay at the Ice Hotel in Sweden
• 55. Couch Surf
• 56.  Go to Carnival
• 57. Be involved in La Tomatina (huge city wide food fight)
• 58.  Learn Photography
• 59. Read the top 100 American Classics
• 60. Read the top 100 books of all time
• 61. Learn to be more outgoing in unfamiliar settings
• 62. Take a random community college course for fun – like basket weaving
• 63. Pay off student loans
• 64.  Stick to a budget for one year
• 65. Donate $25 to Kiva each month for one year
• 66. Shop at Harrods
• 67. Get a massage
• 68.  Drink a bottle of expensive champagne
• 69. Fly first class
• 70. Study other religions
• 71. Read the entire bible
• 72. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
• 73. Invent something
• 74. Read 4 biographies about US presidents
• 75. Read 4 biographies about non American influential people
• 76. Be pictured in a magazine
• 77. See a Broadway play
• 78.  Try Escargot
• 79. Try Liver
• 80. Try Kimchi
• 81. Ice skate at Rockefeller center
• 82. Have a winning lottery ticket
• 83. Go to a murder mystery dinner
• 84. Go to a masquerade
• 85. Say “I have been kicked out of better places than this” to someone
• 86.  Go to Vegas
• 87.  Have 100 things on my bucket list
• 88.  Throw a party and invite everyone
• 89.  Ride and Elephant
• 90.  Ride a Camel
• 91.  Experience weightlessness
• 92.  Drive a convertible
• 93.  Donate blood
• 94.  Go into all 5 oceans (Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Arctic, and Southern)
• 95.  Cross the equator
• 96.  Find Waldo in Where’s Waldo
• 97.  Watch the 10 most classic American Films
• 98.  Drive the Pacific Coast Highway
• 99.  Leave a huge tip for a deserving waiter(ess)
• 100.                Get my MBA

Celebrating not two but three births in London

I am notoriously a planner. I obsessively plan things. It is not a want or a desire but a burning need that if left unfulfilled puts me into a mild panic attack. OK it might not be that bad but my family can attest to my need for order. I have a budget each month that I update every time I make a purchase, I planned out my month long trip to Europe down to the last plane, train, and hotel. Oh, except for the last one... where we got robbed… so I can say that experience is on my side.

Now my need to plan often clashes with my sisters need to be unencumbered and live in the moment. As I mentioned in this post it one time coalesced into a huge argument on the streets of Dublin. Luckily in the years since that post she has learned to cope with my need to be “a mom” and I have learned to sometimes let Katie (and now John) do their own thing and follow along. This is how I recently ended up in my skivvies on the banks of the Yadkin River in NC at 3 am one morning trying to swing off of a rope swing into swiftly moving swollen flood water. I had memories of Bridge to Terebithia running through my head during that “adventure”. But that is a story for another time.

So needless to say when it came to planning to celebrate Katie’s birthday (and to some extent mine) when we met up in London after my audit in India, I had the who’s, whats, and whys nailed down. Well almost. I had decided to see a play, that we would spend some time at the very touristy Ice Bar, and the next day maybe have high tea at some posh restaurant. That is until about 3 PM on an Indian afternoon when I realized that while my gift to Katie would have been fun and she would enjoy it, it wasn't the best I could do. So for her birthday I got her nothing.

That is right, nothing.

A big ol’ bag of zip.

Or really you could say I gave her a basket of opportunity. Or rather a purse of opportunity. I managed to find a small clutch in India for Katie’s birthday (funnily enough I got a great clutch from her as a bday present as well). I filled it with different activities we could do and she could pass or do any of them. There were things like “ride any of the tubes for 15 minutes, get off that stop and wonder around” or “Go into the first Irish bar you see, talk to the third person to say hi, make friends” or “sing God Bless America in front of the Buckingham Palace guards followed by God save the Queen” (we don’t want to mean). Of course being the non free spirit that I am I had to get ideas from some people but I think that is OK. And of course there were blank slips in there where Katie could come up with anything she wanted to do.

The only thing I had planned was the hotel because as I said experience in that area had indicated that no planning meant getting robbed. But other than that it was up to her what we would do, where we would go, how we would get there, and how long we would do it. Heck I didn't even ask her what time we would be going to Oxford. Didn't look at one train schedule. (OK that is a very blatant lie. I checked the train and bus schedule. I couldn't let go of all my habits) I just go along for the Katie ride and she could have free reign of London (although don’t tell the queen that).

The funny thing was that Katie HAD planned out some of the things. And I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. Sometimes my planning anxiety reared its head, but not much with a plan in place by Katie.

We started off hopping on a bus headed towards we hoped was the south bank. After picking a random stop we hoped to find ourselves at the Old Vic. And we did. We saw a play called "The sweet bird of Youth" and to be honest it was a Gatsby-esque play so not a very happy one. With the exception of Kim Cattrall, the acting was very good and the story interesting if a bit slow. 

 

Before hand we managed to find what was purported to be the only "real" mexican food in London but we were a bit disappointed. But with drinks and Nachos you can never go wrong.

 

The next day we braved oxford street shopping in the middle of high tourist season followed by a walk through Hyde park which took longer and was hotter than expecting. It was great but we had to stop at TK (yes K) Maxx and buy some fashionable London dresses. We made our way to the Victoria and Albert Museum where we had the best lunch. I dk if it was because it actually is the best spot or if we loved it because we got to cool down and enjoy people watching but we LOVED our impromptu mid afternoon locale.

Then we headed of to Harrods. Surprisingly Katie had not yet been there yet. For the next half hour I heard more than once "NO ONE TOLD ME IT IS LIKE A SHOPPING DISNEY LAND". We found the fake snow, the harry potter display, and Katie ran into some of her students from Oxford.

That night, Katie was gracious enough to let me go to the ice bar or as she puts it "Paying £12 to lock yourself in a freezer for 45 minutes". It was a rediculous waste of money but now I can say that I did it. And to be honest, I had fun making fun of ourselves. Giggling with Katie in sub 0 temperatures was worth it.

 We ended off the night with Katie's "one true birthday wish" - Sheesha.

We ended our stay in London with the announcement that Kate Middleton was in Labor in the hospital a 5 minute walk from our hotel. I didn't really want to go but at my sisters enthusiasm and insistence we trekked the 7 block walk to St Mary's Hospital. There we were interviewed by the NYT, a french newspaper, and had a radio interview with the BBC on why Americans were interested in the Royal Family and the birth of a Royal Baby.  After that, I couldn't deny that going to the hospital was a bad idea.

BBC requesting an Interview

After we visited the Hospital we were off to Oxford. I had a great time in London and I can't wait to go back when Katie is there again in the spring!

I think that it had been the best joint birthday party we have ever had, if you don’t count the Pocahontas party. 

The dating woman in 21st century America

Well I fully intended my next post to be an update about India and visiting my sister in London/Oxford and I promise that is coming. And in all honesty I was going to go to bed but I think that some truth needs to be shed on something that maybe we overlook in the day to day.

Let me first say that I am truly truly blessed to live in this day and age. I live in a country that with religious freedom (although sometimes the denigration of Christian is becoming more and more apparent), I live in a world where I can say what I feel, be what I want, and do what I want. Which is more than many women have around the world but I don't want those around me to forget that sometimes our culture is so "forward thinking" that we go backwards.

Before I left for India I heard the song Blurred Lines. I loved it. It had a great beat and a catchy tune. Two days ago I heard the lyrics. Today I saw the official music video and I am ashamed that this is something that I danced to.

In case you don't know, Blurred Lines is a song sung by Robin Thicke featuring well known rappers T.I. and producer Pharrell Williams. Now I have to admit that in listening to the lyrics they don't seem all that bad. Only one line really stuck out to me as grossly inappropriate but that didn't put me off. But after watching the music video, which was intended to be a "tongue in cheek" video mocking the current rap industry I have to say that they stepped out of line. In this topless women in thongs are dancing around fully clothed men. Sad to say that this is not unusual when it comes to music videos but what really got me was a teeny tiny stop sign on a woman's rear end. At this point when in conjunction with some of the lyrics from the song I got the strong impression that they were completely ignoring something that has been bothering me lately about our country. The idea that no does not always mean no. But hey it's ok cause Robin Thicke has a wife and kids. That makes it ok to hold women to such a low standard socially and a high standard physically (seriously all those girls were a size 0 with huge [fake] breasts).

We have been making ridiculous strides in our country over the past 50-60 years. Women no longer have to work from home, they can be the breadwinners, we have women lawyers, judges, congressmen, and senators. These are amazing feats and we should celebrate them but we still have a long way to go. We are honored for our brains not just our beauty. Or sometimes we are. In some areas we are. But sometimes in very big ways, we are not.

Take for example the popular website imgur. Imgur hosts photo sharing in which photos are shared for laughs, to reflect political ideals, religious ideals, to bring awareness, to show off drawings, or just to feel connected. I have an account on this website but many a times I have been told "to get back to the Kitchen" or "Go make me a sandwich" mainly because of my sex. This is regardless of the fact that I have a degree from a top university, make just as much as the men in my department, and that I probably have a firmer grasp of who I am and what I can do for the world that some of the people on that website. Purely by a choice of an X or a Y I am relegated to serving food. Let me say clearly - SCREW THAT.

I have chosen for myself what I am going to be in life. Right now I am a late 20s world traveler. If you took the number of cities and countries and states that I have been to and added them together that number might be higher than the number of miles some people have been from their house. Maybe later I might be a mom, even more I might be a stay at home mom but that is a choice I will make WITH my husband when the time is right. It will not be defined by the gender that I was born.

Sadly not all my choices get to be my own. When going on a date, I take extra precautions. If I am lucky I might have known the guy for a while. More likely than not, a friend has vouched for him. But as this limits the number of dates I would go on and possibly the number of amazing people I would meet sometimes the inevitable date with someone you might not know all that well is... well... inevitable.  In this scenario, as a woman I might take precautions that men don't have to. I tell my roommates the guy's name, where we are going, how I met him, a time they can expect me home, and maybe his cell number. In case, you know the Morgan from the BAU needs to rescue me. The truly sad thing is that I do not find this weird. It is something I have done since I started dating. This is the norm.

On dates, I have to be clear and upfront from the beginning what the expectations are. Most times guys understand and if all they are looking for is sex, we part amicably. Sometimes, they don't get that my saying "it is late, I am going home" IS my final response. I had one guy ask me three times in the space of 5 minutes to go back to his place with him. The first round of denial was not accepted as the final answer. When it became clear that my intention really was to end the night by taking a taxi home I was called a bitch and a tease. Oh not to my face. No, it was under his breath. Asshat. The truth is that these guys are not common in my life but even once is too many times.

Now not all guys are dangerous, heck 90% of them are really genuinely amazing and nice guys. I am proud to say that I know a lot of these guys. But the chance that one isn't a great guy is too great of a chance to take with my safety. The numbers are staggering. Even when a rape is reported, which is an astonishingly low percentage (estimated at around 45%), only 12% result in arrest, 9 % are taken to trial and only about 3% of rapists will see a day in jail. (all stats from RAINN).

This need to protect myself won't ever really go away. I will always be physically weaker than most men but when songs have lyrics in it like "I know You want it" and "I know you're an animal, it's in your nature. Just let me liberate 'cha" (but hey it's ok cause normally he respects woman and can prove it because he is married) it makes me feel like this ideal is being perpetuated instead of halted in it's tracks. That we are making the world more dangerous instead of trying to make it safer.

Paradise

So this past weekend I got to spend 3 amazing days in the Maldives. For those of you who don't know the Maldives is a group of Atolls (circles of Islands) that is basically paradise on earth. The Maldives boasts something like 120 islands. None of them are longer than 5 miles and many are way smaller than that.

We stayed on a resort island own by the Sheraton. It was amazing. When we arrived they had a tiny yacht waiting to take us to the Island. On the way the dolphins played in the boat wake, which apparently is a rare treat. The beauty of the islands was stunning. The water was so clear and the beaches were so white.

After settling into our rooms we all went to the beach. Unfortunately the first day was a bit overcast but we didn't care. But favor smiled upon us cause the rest of the weekend was gorgeous. 

On Saturday I went scuba diving for the first time ever. It was a truly amazing experience. Four of us went to have our introductory session. We had an intro video on hand signals and how to continuously breathe otherwise our lungs would explode. And got fitted with out gear. Wearing 4 weights on a belt, a heavy tank, and all those tubes I couldn't see how I wouldn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean. But it turns out that a body is pretty buoyant. 

Unfortunately two of our group couldn't equalize (It's like popping your ears on the plane. It releases internal air pressure and you can't dive without it. It would be like trying to continuously get the rings on the bottom of a 12' foot deep swimming pool). It was down to just my manager and myself. On our training dive to get us acclimated to the experience and proper technique we saw manta rays and eagle rays and plenty of fish. We we only underwater for about 20 minutes but I was hooked. We scheduled our first dive for early afternoon. I was so excited to get to see reef life.

The actual dive was amazing. Our max depth was 11.5 meters or around 40 feet. I think the most surprising thing is that you don't realize how deep you are until you look up. We saw a reef shark, moray eels, a napoleon fish, an octopus, and a ton of fish.

Napoleon fish - That isn't me but I needed a person to show size

The best thing happened at the end. I had another 20 minutes of swimming air but my swimming buddy/manager had run out of his swimming air and needed to ascend. We needed to stop at 5 meters depth and wait for three minutes to allow our bodies to adjust to the new pressure. Our dive instructor was looking at his watch and I was looking at the sea life below. My manager kept on trying to get my attention but I wanted to see all that I could before we surfaced. I finally turned to see what he wanted me to see. There was a wall of silver blue fish extending from the surface to the top of the reef. It had formed a half circle around us. It was one of the most gorgeous things I have ever seen. if we had still been on our dive we would have missed it because it was above us. Suddenly I wasn't angry that we had to surface sooner than I wanted.

Our last day the sun came out and the view was even more breath taking. We tried to get as much sun and sand in before we had to leave that afternoon. It was an amazing weekend and I can't wait to go back (although to a cheaper resort).

It only got this crystal clear and blue on the last day

View from my room

India week 2

There are so many things to talk about that I don't know where to start. Should I focus on India? Working with a new team? How I got sick this past weekend? Maybe I will skip the last one.

India has finally decided to show me what monsoon season is. Contrary to popular opinion formed by the movie Jumangi, Monsoon is not a long thunderstorm that lasts days. In fact it is quite the opposite. It is heavy intense rains that start suddenly and end just as suddenly and there is definitely not enough rain in those 3 - 4 minutes to cause a house to fill with water (sorry Interscope) and no lightning or thunder. There isn't enough time.I have learned to recognize when a storm is about to hit. The winds pick up dramatically and you can see the clouds grow darker rapidly. Here are two pictures I took at the resort we were at last weekend. If I could show you the time stamp you could see that they are about 2 minutes apart.

Not gonna happen

This quick occurrence of rain is a major pain in the ass. One minute you are enjoy your weekend in the pool and then you feel the difference in the air as the humidity rapidly rises. Twice I had to jump out and run for my nook and purse on the deck and book it to the relative dryness of the hotel terrace. Another time a coworker and I were looking at souvenirs from some locals on the beach and had to run back the half mile to the hotel, sure we were going to get soaked. Unfortunately we had not paid them for their goods yet and waited for us patiently on the beach while we exchanged some of our currency at the hotel. Fortunately it was one of the few times the rains didn't open a can of whoop ass on us and they remained dry. Below is a picture of the two very nice woman and a very pushy woman (far right) who let us try on their Saris. We didn't end up buying any of them.

All in all it was a great weekend. But now I have to get back to doing actual work. I leave you with a picture of me in the Indian Ocean. Unfortunately I didn't realize at the time that I was back lit. Oh well I will take what I can get.

Well, I am in India

About a month and a half ago my senior looked to me and a coworker and said "We need someone to go to India." Even if I hadn't wanted to go my coworker's wife is pregnant and I knew there was no way that they were going to send a soon to be brand new father on travel that would take almost a full 24 hours to get home. Luckily, while India has never been high on my to do list, it has been a place I wanted to see.

So now, I am in India. It is my third day here and I can say that every day brings new insights. 

The very first thing that I noticed about India was the lack of lights. Which makes sense seeing as how it is a developing country but for me it was startling. Bangalore is the third largest city in India (behind Mumbai and Delhi) but on landing you only see groups of lights. Small clusters as opposed to seeing a sprawling city laid out by power grids that you would normally see flying into New York, Atlanta, Philadelphia or any other city in the US. To see how little lights there are check out the images as from space. The thing that blew my mind is that India has around 4x the amount of people but is 1/3 the size of the United states (including Alaska).

Living near or in cities for the past four years has made me accustomed to the lights, sounds, and smells of a city. Bangalore fits none of these preconceptions. The lights are fewer, there are constant sounds of construction absolutely everywhere, the traffic is worse than LA (takes 1.5 hours to go 15 kilometers, don't ask me how far that is in miles), and it isn't near as hot or as pungent as everyone made it out to be. The heat has cooperated with us and been around 82 degrees. The humidity is no where near as bad as Atlanta in July and for a rainy season all we have had is clouds (knock on wood). The food has been spicy but I try to attempt some new dish at least once every meal, I fear even the smallest mosquito, and good lord is the city dirty. With constant construction and projects left half finished, the remains of those half buildings and the dust from the new buildings clutter the streets. I bet my dad would love all the material that has been left over to recycle (should have moved to India, Dad).

The best thing so far has been getting to know the people. I still can't understand the Indian head wobble (it is a thing, google it) and it causes some difficulty in understanding someone when I am interviewing them or trying to get information from them. But they are so generous and kind. And the colors that they wear are amazing. The saris here are absolutely gorgeous. They are mainly jewel toned and extremely ornate, with beads and gold colored threads. I can't wait to go buy myself one. The women love to discuss clothing (as does most women) but they are keen on telling you how they live, to share their culture. About learning to drive, how the bindi is more of a fashion statement now than a religious aspect, how gaining the middle class in India is hard but once accomplished could mean switching to the same job in a developed country bringing more comforts  that come with first world countries and more money to send home to support family.

So far, in my three days here I have been inundated with culture and I am loving it. This weekend I go to Goa where all the beaches are. Hopefully monsoon season will decide to delay a little longer so I can enjoy what the countryside has to offer (like elephant rides). Hopefully pictures will be up soon.

Summer Vacations: Kiawah and Grandpop

When I was younger a lot of our friends and family use to joke about the "summer sabbatical" that the Bakers would take come the end of swimming season. Usually the Saturday after the last meet we would strap on the trusty turtle car top carrier, load up the car with luggage, swim gear, beach house activities, and attach our bicycles and we were off on our month long trip to visit family.

Our visits consisted of a week at St Augustine beach in FL with my mom's family, a week in the smokey mountains, and a week at my grandparents house and then another week or two at Kiawah Island with my dad's side of the family. My grandparents owned a time share house walking (or biking) distance to the beach and we would rent another house from their friends down the street. Our beach time was filled with turtle hunts (trying to find baby turtle nests hatching at 6 AM not killing them), crabbing at the dock, and reading on the beach. And maybe a severe burn or two, although those were mainly mine. Our lunches were rolled down in coolers and we ate dinner in any dinning chair we could find back at the house. There was a pool fairly close and usually our parents would insist on giving us a week of tennis camp regardless of the fact that the rest of the 51 weeks in the year we never even looked at a racket. (Kristen was the shining exception to this rule). One summer I even managed to get surfing lessons instead and, before being promptly stung horribly by a jellyfish, managed to stand up on my ridiculously long foam board.

Relaxing on the dock

Everyone needs the Khaki and White T Look

Some of the best memories that I have of Kiawah are on our yearly boating trips. Grandpop was never a big fan of the beach (he loved those golf courses though) so every year he would take us out in a boat that we would rent for the day. Grandpop was always the captain. I remember him being a very big man with a very big presence but as he got older his gait was a little less steady. That gait changed when he was on the boat. As soon as he set foot on that boat, he had sea legs like no one else. All 6 of us grandkids managed to flounder our way onto a seat somewhere but that Big 6' 3" man would swing one leg over and start barking orders. (But to be fair to him he always barked orders.)

We would cruise around the marshes of Kiawah and St Johns Island. Fishing, crabiing, swimming, and freaking out about what touched our leg in the murkey water. Although usually it was just some scared fish and a slightly more threatening crab, one time my dad caught a shark. A small one maybe a foot long, but that was enough to convince me that I needed to stay dry and retain all 10 of my toes.Lunches were fought over and debated as to whom actually wanted the ham and mustard sandwich instead of the refreshing PB&J. We found islands to explore and felt the wind go through our hair as Grandpop manned the wheel.

Some of the best times were when we would each get a chance to be captain. Grandpop would call us up to stand in front of the captain's char and would let us steer. His arms would wrap around us to lay one hand on the throttle and the other on the console on the other side. Many times his time worn hands would cover ours to safely navigate canals or to ensure that we didn't capsize. This day out was his day with family. He didn't enjoy the beach like we did so he gave us a day with him. A day to explore like we couldn't on land. To say, even though he didn't frequently say them out loud, that he loved us.

It has been a while since I have been to Kiawah. I try to make it there every other year but sometimes work prevents me. This year I get to go back the week of June 10th. I can't wait to be there, to take a break from work, to relax in the sun, to read something other than CPA exam material, and to enjoy the beach. Maybe this year we can take a boat out and remember the man who made one day in a sea of days seem special every year.

When I was 16 I got his old car. He was telling me drive
safe and to not get into an accident cause then he would kill
me himself. One of the few times I heard him say "I love you " first.

View from the Dock at Sunset