Redefining the past

A lot of people I know want to go back to the "good ole days",whether it be bringing 90's nickelodeon back, bringing the 60's hippie culture back, or returning to the days where the press reported only facts. People are passionate about a time when life seemed simpler. There are Facebook groups dedicated to each of these ideals. In theory, this is a good thing but the practicality of it may not be.

The human race has a whole host of biases that go into each and every moment of the day. There are judgement biases, media bias, belief bias, social bias, the list goes on and on. One bias in particular is a memory bias called Rosy Retrospective. In this bias, the events of the past are seen favorably, meaning we forget the bad and embrace that which was good.

Recalling a memory accurately is harder to do as time passes, unless you relive that memory frequently. Each time a memory is relived you imprint that memory onto new cells (if I understand the science correctly, I might not... Medical journals go over my head) which are easier to "access" later. If you alter something in this memory and then recall that memory with the same alteration, the original memory will still be harder to recall. When we choose to remember the good and not the bad, we are making the good easier to remember. This is a mechanism of self preservation. If we remembered how hard it was in the past and all you see ahead of you is the same hardship would you continue on?

You can even have rosy retrospective about something you did not live. The best example of this is viewing kindly America's past. We look back at our founding fathers and say "that was a good time". We remember discovering a new land, the signing of the declaration of independence, we remember how we stood up and joined in WWII, we remember the 50's and the simplicity of life that was presented to us in our history books. We forget that to claim the "new land" we forced many people out of the homes, killed entire nations, and brought infectious disease. We often forget that when the founding fathers wrote the declaration of independence we owned slaves. We forget that we didn't join WWII until we were attacked at Pearl harbor and the war had been going on for years before we joined. We forget that in the 50's it was unthinkable for a woman who wanted to be a mom to also work outside the home and divorcees were shunned from "respectable" women.

The issues that we are discussing today are not any different than those in the past. We have come very far but we have a long way to go. Gun laws have been debated in the past and they will continue to be debated as long as they are used to kill and since that is the intention of the gun (whether for humans or animals) the issue of the gun laws will never go away. They may abate for a time but they will not be resolved. The issue of abortion will not go away. Until the entire world believes in one thing there will be abortions, legal or otherwise. Until everyone has a job unemployment, welfare, and any social assistance will be debated. They were debated in the past and they will be debated in the future.

The best that we can hope for is to look to the past honestly and determine where we went wrong and where we should go from there. This means removing the rose colored glasses, taking a cool sip of water, and being honest with ourselves as a collective. Then maybe once and for all we can admit that Clarissa Explains It All had horrible acting and that Ice Ice Baby is on par with Baby Baby Baby (oohh!!).

Volunteering and my involvement with Kiva

“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by ‘I was hungry and you gave me to eat, I was naked and you clothed me, I was homeless and you took me in.’ Hungry not only for bread — but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing — but naked for human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks — but homeless because of rejection.” ~ Mother Teresa


In high school and college I was involved in volunteerism. Either through school activities, church, or my honors fraternity I have always managed to contribute back to society in some way other than physical. I love being able to lend a helping hand. But since I have been in Audit I have found it hard to get involved in a program where I can give back. The programs run by my church are either during the weekday (meals on wheels) or the one off activities are while I am on Audit. I looked into volunteering at a retirement home/nursing home but they want people to come in for at least 3 weeks straight so that the residents are constantly faced with strangers walking around the building that is their home.

Currently to abate my desire to change the world, I donate to Kiva. Kiva is a microfinance organization where you lend small amounts of money to help fund small loans to those in developing countries help improve their lives. These loans are used to start business, expand businesses, help someone go to college, or improve the quality of the village (building a well). Just for those of you who are wondering Charity Navigator gave Kiva a 66.78/70 rating. You can view their remarks here. For comparison purposes Compassion International (which is not micro financing but a program to support children in third world countries) got a 65.27. 

I know that there has got to be a program somewhere that I can volunteer on the weekends that I am home but even then I do not feel as if I would be connected to that community. Hopefully I can find a place where I can help improve the lives of others, be able to go on audit, and still feel connected. Until then I will change the world one loan at a time.

PS You can find more about kiva on their website www.kiva.org if you want to lend. I lend around $25 a month. I have a total of around $400 lent out. If don't I contribute any more I can relend to two loans each month if I keep the loan repayment in between 6 - 10 months.

I am from

I am from long car rides and self entertainment

I am from backyard swings and kick the can and cowboys and Indians

from small fights and large apologies.

from three... surprise! four which completes.


I am from a hand me down car that shows a grandfathers unspoken but felt love

from homemade dinners, and she crab soup, and well worn paths to ice cream.

from a dock, a beach, and bike rides.

I am from dutch blitz and outdoor crafts.


From bear hunting and hidden art.

From sprinklers, dominoes, pinball machines, and ping pong

I am from fire ants, cow pastures, and lost wondering in the wood.

I am from first to hug, arm chair, scuppernong, and a dinner bell



I am from a roaring lion that bleeds blue and white

from dinner at west and undercooked cookies

from sleeping in the library chairs and Purple and Gold Pins with greek letters

from friends that are roommates.


I am from an offer in a downturn

I am from sister trips on a foreign continent

I am from airplanes and tests and expense reports.



I am based from a fought for marriage

from she proposed to me

from because I didn't want anyone else to have him


I am from a mercy never ceasing

a passion never abating

a love unconditionally given

Mema's Table

It has been almost a week since I left the quiet sleepy town of Elberton, GA where my grandparents live. I am back at a desk with a ringing phone, a worn out calculator (ok it is fairly new), and my trusty laptop and I am missing my grandmother's kitchen table.

This may seem weird but to anyone who has ever been to my grandparents house would understand. It is the  central location of the family. Meals are eaten with laughter, elbows in other people's faces, fighting over plate space, and the remainder of the last baker sweet tea. This is also where we play our card games. Spades are played with humor and a need for a win. Victors are crowned and the defeated slink off while the reigning champs (Whitney and I) take on the long standing duo of my Aunt Jan and Aunt Jill. Hearts are played where Judge tries to shoot the moon every time and fails. Katie and Kristen watch Grey's Anatomy. Dad puts the finishing touches on the Christmas Card mailing list and Deda shows us grandkids how he uses facebook and his new wireless printer (he's pretty technologically savvy for an 83 Year old.) When I was younger we used to all get together and play dominoes. I can still hear my family's voices yelling "Heyy Y'all! It's my time!" (for my northern friends that translates as "Hey Guys! Stop it! It's my turn to play").

The table has seen us grow up. Has been damaged and repaired. Dirtied and cleaned. And I can't even count the number of pies, cakes, and desserts that have been eaten upon it, not mention the gallons and gallons of sweet tea. The dogs of years past and present have hid under and around it when they finally find a way to sneak past Mema's well fortified door into the house.

This table, though only piece of well made furniture, has seen the generations gather around it as a family. I can not imagine the stories it could tell.

I am yet again on another audit. My tables are hotel desks and I am away from even the surrogate family of roommates and friends. I can't help but think one thing...

Vacation was too damn short.

Looking back at 2012

Inspired by the wonderful blog posts by my sister, Katie, and the wonderful Allison Lebo, I have decided to look back at 2012.

This year I:

Went to two different Continents that I had never been to before

Visited 6 States I have never been to before.

Saw five amazing couples get married. I was a bridesmaid for the first time in Lauren Bixler's wedding and now I can't wait to meet her new son CJ. Two of these weddings required me to come from or go to another continent right before or after (sometimes both).

I got my second tattoo on my hip with my sister on the Vegas Strip to which many of her friend's exclaimed "The BAKERS got tattoos?!?!"

I started a Blog, which I thought was only for English majors who could write, but learned it was all about being vulnerable to strangers and a patience for the editing process.

I moved in with some of my best friends and we have fought, argued, laughed hysterically, cooked, and lived together in a way that I hadn't experienced since college. We have endured the process of painting rooms, hanging decorations, melding styles, paying bills, and painfully putting up a blue spruce in our living room.

I went on a date where I knew it was a date and could appreciate the manner in which I was asked out even if it didn't work out in the end.

I reconnected with old friends, made a few new ones, lost a couple on the road of life, and are still quite unsure where I stand with a few others.

Jumped into a freezing  river for the second year in a row and still couldn't get the courage to dunk my head under water.

I made taking CPA exams a hobby. I passed one and failed five others. I learned that I am a tortoise and not a hare. It's going to take me a bit to get this done but I am not discouraged..... yet.

I have paid off two student loans, gone on a cruise with my grandparents and mom, bought my fourth comforter in three years, and have still yet to complete any fitness regimen I start.

I have written bad poetry, read amazing books, saw movies that moved my soul, and read bible passages that lifted my heart.

My family seems farther away physically than ever before but it has made me appreciate my time with them. I would rather play two games of hearts laughing hysterically with John, Dad, Mom, and Judge than to study for an hour. I can always pass an exam but those moments are fleeting.

2012 has been very generous with me. Although there have been stories that make your hair curl and heartache and frustrations, the blessings I have been given far outweigh every thing else.

Here's to the old and I can not wait to meet the new.