Celebrating not two but three births in London

I am notoriously a planner. I obsessively plan things. It is not a want or a desire but a burning need that if left unfulfilled puts me into a mild panic attack. OK it might not be that bad but my family can attest to my need for order. I have a budget each month that I update every time I make a purchase, I planned out my month long trip to Europe down to the last plane, train, and hotel. Oh, except for the last one... where we got robbed… so I can say that experience is on my side.

Now my need to plan often clashes with my sisters need to be unencumbered and live in the moment. As I mentioned in this post it one time coalesced into a huge argument on the streets of Dublin. Luckily in the years since that post she has learned to cope with my need to be “a mom” and I have learned to sometimes let Katie (and now John) do their own thing and follow along. This is how I recently ended up in my skivvies on the banks of the Yadkin River in NC at 3 am one morning trying to swing off of a rope swing into swiftly moving swollen flood water. I had memories of Bridge to Terebithia running through my head during that “adventure”. But that is a story for another time.

So needless to say when it came to planning to celebrate Katie’s birthday (and to some extent mine) when we met up in London after my audit in India, I had the who’s, whats, and whys nailed down. Well almost. I had decided to see a play, that we would spend some time at the very touristy Ice Bar, and the next day maybe have high tea at some posh restaurant. That is until about 3 PM on an Indian afternoon when I realized that while my gift to Katie would have been fun and she would enjoy it, it wasn't the best I could do. So for her birthday I got her nothing.

That is right, nothing.

A big ol’ bag of zip.

Or really you could say I gave her a basket of opportunity. Or rather a purse of opportunity. I managed to find a small clutch in India for Katie’s birthday (funnily enough I got a great clutch from her as a bday present as well). I filled it with different activities we could do and she could pass or do any of them. There were things like “ride any of the tubes for 15 minutes, get off that stop and wonder around” or “Go into the first Irish bar you see, talk to the third person to say hi, make friends” or “sing God Bless America in front of the Buckingham Palace guards followed by God save the Queen” (we don’t want to mean). Of course being the non free spirit that I am I had to get ideas from some people but I think that is OK. And of course there were blank slips in there where Katie could come up with anything she wanted to do.

The only thing I had planned was the hotel because as I said experience in that area had indicated that no planning meant getting robbed. But other than that it was up to her what we would do, where we would go, how we would get there, and how long we would do it. Heck I didn't even ask her what time we would be going to Oxford. Didn't look at one train schedule. (OK that is a very blatant lie. I checked the train and bus schedule. I couldn't let go of all my habits) I just go along for the Katie ride and she could have free reign of London (although don’t tell the queen that).

The funny thing was that Katie HAD planned out some of the things. And I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. Sometimes my planning anxiety reared its head, but not much with a plan in place by Katie.

We started off hopping on a bus headed towards we hoped was the south bank. After picking a random stop we hoped to find ourselves at the Old Vic. And we did. We saw a play called "The sweet bird of Youth" and to be honest it was a Gatsby-esque play so not a very happy one. With the exception of Kim Cattrall, the acting was very good and the story interesting if a bit slow. 

 

Before hand we managed to find what was purported to be the only "real" mexican food in London but we were a bit disappointed. But with drinks and Nachos you can never go wrong.

 

The next day we braved oxford street shopping in the middle of high tourist season followed by a walk through Hyde park which took longer and was hotter than expecting. It was great but we had to stop at TK (yes K) Maxx and buy some fashionable London dresses. We made our way to the Victoria and Albert Museum where we had the best lunch. I dk if it was because it actually is the best spot or if we loved it because we got to cool down and enjoy people watching but we LOVED our impromptu mid afternoon locale.

Then we headed of to Harrods. Surprisingly Katie had not yet been there yet. For the next half hour I heard more than once "NO ONE TOLD ME IT IS LIKE A SHOPPING DISNEY LAND". We found the fake snow, the harry potter display, and Katie ran into some of her students from Oxford.

That night, Katie was gracious enough to let me go to the ice bar or as she puts it "Paying £12 to lock yourself in a freezer for 45 minutes". It was a rediculous waste of money but now I can say that I did it. And to be honest, I had fun making fun of ourselves. Giggling with Katie in sub 0 temperatures was worth it.

 We ended off the night with Katie's "one true birthday wish" - Sheesha.

We ended our stay in London with the announcement that Kate Middleton was in Labor in the hospital a 5 minute walk from our hotel. I didn't really want to go but at my sisters enthusiasm and insistence we trekked the 7 block walk to St Mary's Hospital. There we were interviewed by the NYT, a french newspaper, and had a radio interview with the BBC on why Americans were interested in the Royal Family and the birth of a Royal Baby.  After that, I couldn't deny that going to the hospital was a bad idea.

BBC requesting an Interview

After we visited the Hospital we were off to Oxford. I had a great time in London and I can't wait to go back when Katie is there again in the spring!

I think that it had been the best joint birthday party we have ever had, if you don’t count the Pocahontas party. 

Sister Trips

My mom and her sisters had a wonderful tradition when I was younger. Every year they would meet up for a week, sometimes in a brand new city and sometimes down in Atlanta, and have a sister trip. It was a great trip that they got to spend time together as adults without the responsibility of taking care of kids and husbands. For a week they got to be just sisters.

Unfortunately for those not in the rankings of sister this equated to being taken care of by Dad for an extended period of time. Some of the funnier baker stories have come out of these times. My father is an amazing dad and I constantly feel blessed to have his guidance and love. But I also freely admit that he could never take the place of Mom. I know this due to experience. Many times while I was living at home and mom was gone we would get chicken broth soup for dinner. That’s right. Broth soup. Hot flavored water. One time dad got so adventurous as to try and make us quiche disregarding the fact that Kristen is a picky eater, I didn't like eggs, and none of the four Baker kids had ever had quiche before.

Those weeks of momlessness were filled with stress of food and carpool duty. After a while we managed to get it down with a minimal amount of fuss. By the time I went off to college we had learned that Wawa and Dominoes pizza were our friends and that the kids had to keep track of each other because we couldn't leave Kristen at church AGAIN.

The best thing about sister trips is that Katie, Kristen and I got to have our own. After I graduate college and was momentarily unemployed, Katie was accepted into a study abroad program in Oxford, England. The fates conspired and had Katie ending her spring term right around the time I would be finishing my tour of the European continent and Kristen had spring break. It would have been wrong not to take advantage.

At Tower Bridge with our friend Mia

Katie at her Fave tea drinking spot in Oxford

Come that March we all met up in London and had a very confusing and fun couple of days before heading to Dublin, Ireland for St Patricks day. I can honestly say I have never had as much fun on any trip as I did with Katie and Kristen in those cities. I had to pay a price for that fun though, in the form of an all out row with Katie on the streets of Dublin at 2 AM.

On the Ha' Penny Bridge in Dublin Ireland, March 17, 2009

I should mention that Katie and I, if you don’t already know, are no where near peas in a pod. I am more of a berry on a bush and katie is a wildflower in a meadow. As far apart as you can be. This often results in fights as we learn how to communicate with each other and realize that what we were thinking is not what the other is thinking. Luckily we had a very patient and understanding youngest sister who knows us both so very well she could translate for us.

“Jessica, Katie isn’t suggesting that we go to Bath AND London AND Oxford AND Belfast. She is throwing out different options as she thinks of them. Katie won’t have made a decision until she is boarding the train for the next city”

Traveling is such hard work

“Katie, Jessie thinks that you have made a decision regarding where you want to go next. She could care less WHERE we go as long as she can plan it out so that we aren't sleeping under a bridge”

We ended up spending the next day roaming around Dunlougahary (P.S. I love you anyone?) and then heading back to Oxford. Which as it turns out regardless of multiple plans and counter itineraries  you can still get robbed.

My last sister trip was with Kristen after her semester Studying Abroad was over. Kristen, Grandmom, and I met up in London, showed Grandmom the sights (including seeing Les Mis for the first time) and then shipping her off home while Kristen and I hit up Barcelona (the only city between the two of us that we hadn't both visited and wanted to). I got to use my smattering of Spanish and we learned that the Spaniards don’t start partying until 2 AM. Well past either of our bed times.

This year my sister Katie will be going back to Oxford to be a graduate mentor to those in the program that she was a part of 4 years ago. Maybe this will be another opportunity for a sisterly trip. Or even better, we include John and make it a Baker kid trip.

Either way if someone I know is over seas (I am looking at you Ali) I will find a way over so that I can experience all the cultures that I can before settling down.

Kinder Gentler Jessie

When I was growing up I had a soft shell. Everything that even remotely could be considered a dig (even if it was playful ribbing) was taken as a insult or demeaning. It didn't help that in my small middle school there was a popular crowd and the very UNpopular crowd (you can guess which one I was in. Hint: not the first group). I wanted desperately to fit in and I couldn't manage it. I was (and still am) socially awkward  To protect myself against hurt I tried to create a tough outer shell and biting attitude. The attitude, ironically, only got worse around the people who loved me the most.

Luckily I have wonderful parents that understood what was going on. Instead of berating me for what I can only assume was an over reaction to everything, they would lovingly tell me "Kinder Gentler Jessie". I remember my parents telling me that they loved me for who I was and that they were sad that I was hiding behind a tough exterior. They showed me that although the world is tough and sometimes hurts that I didn't have to be like it. I could continue being who I was. Every time I was sharp and had a mean edge my parents would quietly say "Kinder Gentler Jessie".

This lesson still applies in my life today. Although I feel I grew up and let go of most of the hurt from the past, sometimes the actions I learned long ago still assert themselves. One particular Friday I was having a really rough day. Work wasn't going well, I was frustrated, and I didn't feel like the situation was going to be better. The fact that the weekend was hours away did not make this feeling any less. In fact, it felt worse because the week was over and I felt like nothing had been accomplished from Monday, that I had just been a spinning cog in a wheel. I was talking to a close friend of mine and was taking out my frustration and presenting a hard front which resulted in me needlessly harsh and judgemental. The response was quick "I don't think I like Friday Jess."

In a flash I was back in my kitchen hearing my mom's voice saying "You need to be a kinder and gentler Jessie". I apologized to my friend and tried to remember that I do not have to be a reflection of my situation.

Proves that sometimes a lesson is never fully learned

THON is not the only thing out there

For those of you who don't know THON is the common calling of the Pennsylvania State University's IFC/Panhellenic Dance Marathon. You can see why we use the nickname. Every year thousands of students work tirelessly to raise money for the awareness and support for kids who have cancer. It begins at the beginning of the school year when organizations start fundraising, canning, and raising awareness for pediatric cancer by asking for corporate sponsors and standing on the corners of streets asking for small donations. It culminates in the middle of February where members of these organizations and individuals who have raised a lot of money stand, dance, and sing for 46 hours straight and basically at the end all but cease to function.

This weekend is THON. As a PSU Alum and someone who has been a part of thon as a fundraiser, on the finance committee, on the OPP committee, and as a supporter in the crowd I can say that this is one amazing cause. But (and this is where other PSU Fanatics will burn me at the stake) it isn't the be all and end all of charity.

Frequently I was frowned upon in my organizations because I would only go canning once a year. I made no bones about the fact that while I thought it was a good cause I would rather donate my $10 than give up a weekend of studying (yes I did study Mom and Dad). I applaud those that gave a lot of time and money and effort into making THON what it is and it is truly a great thing, but it does not make you better than me. I had my own charities, I was in habitat for humanity freshman year, I served soup at homeless shelter, I donated towards breast cancer, and raised money for those who have Sarcoidosis. And don't even get me started on the reactions to those who didn't want to participate in THON at all.

I just want to remind everyone that any good put out there is FANTASTIC. You don't need to be a part of something huge to make a difference. But to those involved with THON this weekend I wish you all the luck and I can't wait to see what y'all have done this year. I know it will be awesome.

The Friendzone and My Perspective

You like a guy/girl and three things can happen:

1) They like you back! Congrats! Go forth into the world and clutter our facebook newsfeed with unnecessarily cute things.
2) Ew gross you have cooties. Console yourself with some Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge. But don't worry, plenty of fish in the sea.
3) "Aww you're so great! Your like a sister/brother to me, I wish my significant other was more like you." Welcome to a special sort of Hell known as the friendzone.

I have had the unfortunate experience of being in the friendzone as well as having (regretfully) friendzoned some people in my earlier college days. It's a crappy crappy place to be and I know how much it can suck but let me tell you something. It isn't anyone's fault. To those zoned: Just because you are nice to him/her doesn't mean that you get a free pass into the sacred halls of dating them. Being nice is just a basic necessity of being human. Just because you are there to listen to their problems and give advice doesn't mean that you have a right to a date or two because listening and giving advice is what FRIENDS DO!

This also doesn't give free reign. To those doing the zoning: If you are asking your friend to go get you Stouffers mac and cheese at 2 AM from the 24 hour Walmart 45 minutes away because you just can't STAND Kraft, then sorry chicka (dude) you are taking advantage of your friend. You also can't treat them as an occasional hook up buddy. It's not fair to treat their affections as an emotional buffer. The best way to determine if you are taking advantage is to compare your actions with them to what you would do with another of your friends. If your best friend wouldn't do it then there is a good chance if they were acting only in friendship they wouldn't be doing it either. If you ask for these favors AND you are aware of their feelings then you need to evaluate your personal values and they should evaluate whether you are worth their affection.

In the end there is always a choice to be made: to stay friends with this person or to get some distance. If the decision to stay has been made then those zoned need to accept that they may only remain friends. I am not saying that one can not exit the friend zone and end up with the object of affection (my ex boyfriend was friend-zoned for a while before we dated) but the chances of it happening are slim. If the decision has been made in favor of distancing thmeselves then both parties need to let that happen. The emotional well being of your friend should take precedence of the need for the friendship.

I am from

I am from long car rides and self entertainment

I am from backyard swings and kick the can and cowboys and Indians

from small fights and large apologies.

from three... surprise! four which completes.


I am from a hand me down car that shows a grandfathers unspoken but felt love

from homemade dinners, and she crab soup, and well worn paths to ice cream.

from a dock, a beach, and bike rides.

I am from dutch blitz and outdoor crafts.


From bear hunting and hidden art.

From sprinklers, dominoes, pinball machines, and ping pong

I am from fire ants, cow pastures, and lost wondering in the wood.

I am from first to hug, arm chair, scuppernong, and a dinner bell



I am from a roaring lion that bleeds blue and white

from dinner at west and undercooked cookies

from sleeping in the library chairs and Purple and Gold Pins with greek letters

from friends that are roommates.


I am from an offer in a downturn

I am from sister trips on a foreign continent

I am from airplanes and tests and expense reports.



I am based from a fought for marriage

from she proposed to me

from because I didn't want anyone else to have him


I am from a mercy never ceasing

a passion never abating

a love unconditionally given

Looking back at 2012

Inspired by the wonderful blog posts by my sister, Katie, and the wonderful Allison Lebo, I have decided to look back at 2012.

This year I:

Went to two different Continents that I had never been to before

Visited 6 States I have never been to before.

Saw five amazing couples get married. I was a bridesmaid for the first time in Lauren Bixler's wedding and now I can't wait to meet her new son CJ. Two of these weddings required me to come from or go to another continent right before or after (sometimes both).

I got my second tattoo on my hip with my sister on the Vegas Strip to which many of her friend's exclaimed "The BAKERS got tattoos?!?!"

I started a Blog, which I thought was only for English majors who could write, but learned it was all about being vulnerable to strangers and a patience for the editing process.

I moved in with some of my best friends and we have fought, argued, laughed hysterically, cooked, and lived together in a way that I hadn't experienced since college. We have endured the process of painting rooms, hanging decorations, melding styles, paying bills, and painfully putting up a blue spruce in our living room.

I went on a date where I knew it was a date and could appreciate the manner in which I was asked out even if it didn't work out in the end.

I reconnected with old friends, made a few new ones, lost a couple on the road of life, and are still quite unsure where I stand with a few others.

Jumped into a freezing  river for the second year in a row and still couldn't get the courage to dunk my head under water.

I made taking CPA exams a hobby. I passed one and failed five others. I learned that I am a tortoise and not a hare. It's going to take me a bit to get this done but I am not discouraged..... yet.

I have paid off two student loans, gone on a cruise with my grandparents and mom, bought my fourth comforter in three years, and have still yet to complete any fitness regimen I start.

I have written bad poetry, read amazing books, saw movies that moved my soul, and read bible passages that lifted my heart.

My family seems farther away physically than ever before but it has made me appreciate my time with them. I would rather play two games of hearts laughing hysterically with John, Dad, Mom, and Judge than to study for an hour. I can always pass an exam but those moments are fleeting.

2012 has been very generous with me. Although there have been stories that make your hair curl and heartache and frustrations, the blessings I have been given far outweigh every thing else.

Here's to the old and I can not wait to meet the new.

Doing right in the face of oppression

For a while now I have loved reading dystopian novels. Mainly because it deals with a brave individual who fights for what is right despite opposition and oppression. The Hunger Games, Matched Series, The Uglies series, etc. I love the story of those who realize that their world isn't all that they want it to be and fight for a change. I love even more the Uglies series in which all the main character wants to do is fit in and yet is constantly challenged with the fact that "fitting in" would result in giving up an integral part of herself.

This Christmas I finally saw Lincoln. There were two things that hit me very hard in this movie that I hope I remember forever 1) war is personal. Maybe if we still fought hand to hand, had to see every face inches from your own when we killed, we would not be so eager to jump into the fray. I am sure those who have been in combat can attest to the horrors but that is another topic for another post. The second thing I realized was 2) Lincoln had a very very hard job to do and sometimes we forget that to some this was not seen an obvious wrong that needed to be righted. Half of the country was opposed, some of them within Lincoln's own party.

We live with the fact that the Northern States won over the Southern Confederation every day. You might not know it but each morning we wake up, 50 states undivided, and continue with our lives. Growing up I had an interracial couple for my backdoor neighbors. We played with their kids, got pushed on the swings by their grandfather affectionately known as Grandpa Joe to the neighborhood kids, and really none of this seemed out of place. How can you think that something is unique if it is the only thing that you have ever known. I didn't realize then and I am just realizing now the enormity of what has been accomplished.

I only have the movie to go on (which probably had some dramatizing involved so I apologize for any inaccuracies) but Lincoln pushed through the 13th Amendment with the threat (yes threat) of peace over his head. Lincoln used the civil war as leverage to push that in the eyes of the law ALL men are created equal. Now we won't get into Jim Crow laws or the following struggle to have this amendment reflected in society (and the racism that is still evident in parts of our country) but this is amazing. The first time the constitution mentions slavery is to reflect that it was illegal.

In the books I read there are obvious sides. In life this is not the case. President Lincoln was a leader of a great Nation and he was fighting even those within his own party to right the wrong. The main characters in the book only have to fight those that would oppress them. Lincoln, by what I saw in the movie, could have made peace ended the war, demanded surrender terms, and maintained his good standing with those who trusted him to act in their stead. Instead he fought for those that had no voice. He pushed off ending the war, killing many more men, to ensure that we could move forward as a Nation that would not have slavery.

With hindsight there are clear sides to this issue but those same people who stood on either side of this issue also stood next to their oppositions on other issues. This has always been the case and will continue to be the case in the future. Issues do not stand alone in a vacuum. I wish they did. But I have come to realize that nothing will be as clear cut as it is in the books. Changing one thing changes the whole. This is hardly addressed in these books because the clean up after the change is almost as hard as the change itself. America can attest to that.

 Looking back I can applaud Lincoln for what he did, how could I not? But what if my son, brother, father, or husband died in that last battle while he pushed off peace? What if I lost my home, living, family, or life in the pursuit of it? Would I applaud? I don't know. I would like to think that I would have said it was worth it. That the price I and others had to pay was worth what was gained. What if I fought for the other side? What if I thought that the southern economy would not survive? If I had to pay such a great price and still at the end of the war, lose the world that I had known, would I have applauded even if I opposed slavery?

I can't answer these questions. I have never been challenged in such a way. Maybe I read those books to be more like the heroes and heroines. So that if the time comes when I need to pay the price I can look back and say it was worth it.

The Baker family Christmas Letter

Every year that I can remember (except for the first two years my parents moved down to Winston-Salem) my dad has, with great joy, patience, and a lot of frustration about margins and page lengths, issued the annual Baker Christmas letter.

I don't know when the tradition started or when it turned into a list of funny happenings from our family but it became a "thing". Frequently at church one of my friends would run up and tell me that they had gotten the Christmas letter. This was, unfortunately, followed up by a recitation of one of my embarrassing moments of the year. Luckily, my dad has always been sensitive to what is being sent out in the letter so he always let us read, and remove, any stories that we deemed "too embarrassing".

The most frustrating part of the Christmas letter is getting a call, text AND email from my dad on December 20th asking me "What are some stories from the past year?" My faulty memory, never stellar to begin with, blanks at the demand for a memory. If someone says quick what is your favorite memory about X all I end up thinking is "Craaaapppp why don't I have any memories about that?!". The pressure is suddenly on not only to remember funny things that have happened to you, your siblings, parents or extended family, but they also have to be funny and witty enough to warrant an inch or two of sacred letter space.

Our present last year which was a 

print out of all the letters since 1993

The second most frustrating and yet fondly remembered time is the actual mailing of the letter. In the past we would include with the letter: 1) matching cards - hand signed by each of us and 2) a picture of us from Walmart (the portrait kind where we are wearing matching sweaters) or a copy of a picture of us with Santa (disregarding the fact that you are 16 and, lets face, waaayyy to cool for all your friends to know that your mom still makes you sit on santa's lap). We would have a production line of all the kids plus parents, folding the printed out letter, putting it into the card with the picture, stuffing an envelope, licking the envelope closed, and addressing and stamping the envelope (luckily with printed off labels, return addresses, and self stick stamps). Fortunately we have cut it down to just the letter and card signed by one of us on behalf of the family.

This year's letter has been just as I always remembered. Dad working to get stories and then cut those down to bare wittiness so that to make the one page (front and back) requirement. Katie editing the story, Kristen reluctantly accepting that she is the focus of one of the stories, and John being completely chill about the arrangement. O yes, and mom worried about a) when we will stuff the letters b) if we have enough stamps and c) when we will get to mail them (NO POST ON SUNDAYS!).

As a break to writing this post I attempted to assist my dad in making the two page requirement (two sentences too many) and, after three seconds of scrolling, was rudely shooed away to go finish whatever I was doing on the other side of the table.

Dad hard at work after the shooing me away to focus on those

two stubborn lines that refused to make the page the right length

Regardless of the fact that the letter is some what of a pain, I can freely admit that it wouldn't be christmas without it. Christmas would be just a little bit less sentimental without the craziness of the letter. In fact, last year we received a book of all the letters we have sent out and it was a great way to remember all the memories I often forget about. Also, I would hate to disappoint those avid fans of my dad's yearly reflective prose. 

Now I must go. My dad is whimpering and calling for me to assist him with holding the letter up to the light.... don't ask.

Merry Christmas!!!

What I am thankful for

November has always, at least for Americans, been a time where we can reflect on what we have and be thankful. Many people over social media, blogs, and vlogs, have been doing their day to day remembrances and I want to join in the fun. Unfortunately I can't be a daily blogger (sorry) but I can be a  one time blogger so here we go - The 7 things I am most thankful for.

1) My safety. Sandy and then Athena have shown me how blessed I am to have been spared even the mild inconvenience of a power outage. My heart hurts for those that have lost their homes and mementos. I wish I could do more than to send supplies and clothes. 

2) Amazing roommates. I am living with two of my good friends from College. It is great not having to get to know them on a base level. I have lived with Caitlin in the past and while it took some time to get used to it again we have hit our rhythm. Learning to live with Dana has been fun. While Caitlin and I are similar in many ways - Dana is the complete opposite from me and it has been a joy to get to learn new ways of doing things and getting to see the world the way that Dana does.

3) My Family of course :) I have always held that my family is one of the best out there (as I am sure many people do). I have grandparents that have nothing but pride in their grandchildren and simply enjoy watching us grow and become our own people. I have aunts and uncles that enjoy seeing their families and having crazy Dutch Blitz or Spades games. I have Cousins with whom I thoroughly enjoy spending time. Even though I am 4+ years older than all of them, age never seems to matter when we are together.

I have parents that have supported me and my siblings regardless of our actions and delight not only in their kids but in each other. They are my example of Happily Ever after. They make love real. Katie is my opposite in every way. Where I am reserved she is outgoing. Where she is spontaneous I am planned. We spark each other. In our youth these sparks became fights. Now in our adulthood they (mostly) mean a thorough adventure. Katie says we go and I find a way to get us there. Kristen is who I aspire to be. She is confident in who she is. She is quirky and fun and humble and outrageous. She frequently acknowledges her hate of spelling and then says that it instilled in her a knowledge that some things have to be fought for. John is the lynch pin of our family. He is truly spoiled. We didn't realize what our family was missing until he came along. He is fun and sweet and love sports and is so smart that he makes me sick. And popular. That kid walks into a room and everyone wants to be his friend. 

4) The boat that is my car. The Caddy has taken good care of me though you can't really same of me for it. It is a well made car and I don't think that I will need a new car for another couple of years which means that, hopefully, I will have enough saved up to just pay cash for a new one.

5) My Job. I got my job in the middle of the worst part of the economic downturn. Luckily I was a part of a program that was trying to get off the ground and it was spearheaded by the CFO. I had a job when people I graduated with were fighting tougher and tougher competition to get what jobs there were and the number of those jobs had dropped dramatically. Through that program I got to do something I love, auditing, and auditing has taken me to the west coast, Canada, South America, and Asia. The travel is tough and I complain about it some but some people never leave their home town and I feel extremely lucky to experience new cultures (biggest lesson I have learned: Argentines REALLY do not like that Las Malvinas are under the British Crown).

6) My Faith. And for so many reason and much bigger reasons than the one I am going to put here but if it wasn't for my faith I would be a push over. No really. I am a people pleaser to the extreme. If it wasn't for the faith that I believe in, and my need to actually defend and stand up for it, I might have compromised on a lot of issues that aren't even related to my faith. 

7) Penn State. College is where I decided to come into my own. I made friends with a ton of great people, lost a friend for a while, had a boyfriend, and shortly after graduation got a tattoo. Got an amazing education. Learned to have school spirit (never had it in middle school or high school). Most of all, I became Jessie. I was on my own and making my own decisions. I admitted my love of hip hop, country, sci fi, and other genres of reading beyond romance. Though I continue to grow, Penn State is where I stepped out of my parents house and started taking responsibility for myself. Those 4 1/2 years were amazing and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

The die has been cast

Today at 8:07 AM EST I cast my vote for who should be the next president.

It was a different feel than what I anticipated. The past two times I have voted has been at the Penn State HUB. Students shove leaflets in your hands, the same ones that you slip on as you make you way to the front of the line.

Standing in line at Penn State I always felt like I was performing an obligation, something I had to do because I was an american and to do otherwise would just be.... well un-american. Not to mention my family wouldn't speak to me for a week.

Today felt different. I don't know if it is because I am older or maybe cause I took the time to research my candidates but today felt good. Like I had done something positive.

I heard one grandmother explaining to her granddaughter that it wasn't because of WHO she was that she couldn't vote but because she wasn't old enough. (To which she promptly responded with "o.k. I will vote when I am 5"). I am blessed to live in a country that continually strives for equality. It's hard and it's rough and the growing pains hurt but today is one day that I can take pride in. Not because I am helping in choosing our future, but because 236 years ago my country decided that taxation without representation in front of The Crown was wrong, 143 years ago we acknowledged that race could not determine who got elect a president, and 92 years ago we acknowledged that gender could not factor in granting voting rights. Four years ago we elected our first African American President. Hopefully it will not be another 92 before we have our first Woman President.




This all happened because we voted, we determined our course.

I am proud to be a part of the country and today, when so many conflicting ideas are being posted, tweeted, or blogged, I am glad that I can look back and see who we were and be proud of who we are today.

I love storms!!!

When I was little I was terrified of storms. I mean I was was really really really piss your pants scared of them. At the time my parents lived in Charlotte, NC which frequently got the tail end of hurricanes as well as the normal everyday thunder and lightning storms.

As an adult I can understand where that fear came from. Imagine a little two year old with white blond extremely curly hair seeing flashes of light and hearing big roaring sounds and not understanding where they came from. To remedy this my parents did something that I thank them for every single time a storm rolls around. My mom and dad would take me out onto our back porch, which was small but covered, and would hold me as we sat and watched the rain come pouring down around our house. With her calming voice saying "wow look at that one Jessie. That was a BIG flash of light" or his loving voice murmuring "That was a really deep rumble. I felt it in my tummy." I slowly moved from quivering under my dad's arm, face hidden in the crook, to sitting comfortably on his lap enjoying the beauty of something so fierce.

This became our thing to do. When we moved to Yardley, PA we lost the back porch but made up for it by using our garage. As our family grew, so did the company. Katie, Kristen, John, and sometimes Rebel (most times he hid in the closet) would join us sitting in folding chairs, getting excited to see the fury of a raging storm. Often one of us would just jump out of our chair, throw off our shoes and run into the slashing rain. It wouldn't be long before the rest of the siblings and dog would join in the fun, laughing and running around. I am sure the neighbors thought that we were crazy.

To this day, I still have an absolute giddiness about a big ass storm. When I heard that hurricane Sandy was due to hit Philadelphia head on I was so excited. My roommates and I got all the necessary preparations. Stayed in doors during the worst of it and I eagerly looked outside to see the roaring intensity to hit the northeast since 1903.

I wasn't let down. There wasn't any thunder or lightning and not a lot of rain but the wind more than made up for it. Hearing the wind rage outside my window late last night with the memories of being held safe by my dad when I was younger and celebrating in the rain with my siblings when I was older, I dropped right off to sleep.

Story of my friends through pictures

 Alpha Delta Class  Phi Sigma Pi

 Trip to DC/Baltimore to visit Lou

 Wedding of one of the sweetest woman ever

 My PSU crew in Philly to watch us crush Temple

 My amazing group of friends that say "OK" when I ask

to jump into a freezing river for charity

 Some of my Fave PSPers in Las Vegas celebrating Becca's Bday

 The crew at the wedding of Mike and Lori

 This girl is who I get crazy with even though 

she is all the way out in Montana

 Somewhat yearly pilgrimage to State College for Artsfest 

 Out with my PSPers

 Trust me - it's cold in the polar plunge

 Halloween SuperSenior year

 Fantastic Pictures

 The Church Crew

 The best way to move a couch is to

support it out of the trunk as your friend drives the 

car around the corner.

 Front Row to support the Nittany Lions

 PSP block for the whiteout

 Showing our THON family our support

with a great outing to watch the Lions play ball

 Winery Tour

 I miss this Crazy girl!

 Sledding in Manayunk

We're bad ass! Warrior Dash